In moments...
I remember falling in love.
Watching you walk across a room
from a distance for the first time.
Seeing you in shadow, outlined by the sun,
a hand on your hip,
a dark blue strap,
slipping from your pale shoulder.
Watching you swim and
kissing your dark wet hair.
In moments...
I remember loving you.
Holidays, laughter, reading books out loud together,
wedding rings, markets, moving houses, adopting a cat,
buying a bed...the bed where we made love and babies.
Holding your head in the pains off labour,
with a child, our child!
Watching that new life
spilling from your heavy body.
In moments...
I remember love losing it's way
in uncertainty, confusion and dread.
You still look so young, I feel so old and we fade.
Shared photos become pictures off strangers,
and we wake and find nothing between us,
no love, no laughter, no more life.
A love, once clear becomes blurred and glassy.
Silence replaces words, we become two
different things, and in the end,
it's not the loss that is hardest to bear,
but the slow creep off change,
that gradually tears the heart into a million shreds.
The night arrives, the last night at home,
and then the first night alone,
then nothing.
